the Journey continues

2025 was a year of unexpected adventures and deeper exlporation into my inner world and deep inner work. This was the year of the Snake. Great Serpent. In the Shamanic tradition, the Snake is the power animal of the South. Teaching us to shed our past, all that does not serve us. So that we can release, let go, and grow our new skin. Crawl belly to belly with the Great Mother.

I have made it my goal, in the last 5 years, to shed the skin. The skin that no longer serves my highest good. The abuse, lack of self acceptance, the loss of my power. I do not want to enter my next life with any old stories and traumas. This is the life to do the healing.

Going to Chile, almost a year ago, was never in my sights for 2025. The opportunity presented itself quickly. I was taking a bath in December of 2024. In a relaxed state, I heard “go to the land of the Condor”. Huh? What was that supposed to mean. I thought of Peru, but had no idea what that really meant. The next day, I received an email for a program at Los Lobos in Chile, called Grow a New Body. This beautiful sanctuary in the coastal mountains is owned by Alberto Villoldo, and his wife Marcela Lobos. Hmm. It sounded interesting, but the timing wasn’t the greatest, and it was a bit cost-prohibitive. It was only a couple of weeks away. I kept getting nudges to go. I already had my yearly trip planned out to go down to Mexico, where the gray whales do their birthing. I didn’t have room in my budget for another large trip. But it was an overwhelming feeling that I needed to go. Okay, I will bite the bullet and put it on a credit card and figure out how to pay it off later.

Before I left, I think about a week, I developed an abcess on the roof of my mouth from an infected tooth I didn’t know I had. It was sudden and fierce. I was on 2 different antibiotics. I had the abcess cleaned out, and continued the antibiotics until I left.

Despite the probiotics I was taking, unbeknownst to me, I was developing a nasty case of C-diff. A horrible condition when your gut is stripped of all the good bacteria (thank you antibiotics), and the Clostridioides difficile bacteria took up residence and presided over my gut. The lovely result is diarrhea and colon inflammation. The diarrhea started the day I left, yet still in the mild stage. Once I got to Los Lobos, it took off with abandon. Crazy as it sounds, being a nurse, I never suspected that was what I had. I don’t know if it was willful denial, or what, but it wasn’t until I got home that I realized this was what I had. I had all the signs and symptoms. Duh. I felt so foolish not having recognized this at the beginning. I could hardly eat or drink, because it was so painful to, and I would be up at least 30 times during the night to go to the bathroom. I kept count. I couldn’t sleep more than 20 minutes at a time.

As part of this health program we all were embarking on, we received energy treatments from Peruvian Shaman, other energy healers, acupuncture, massage, IVs of vitamins and supplements, oxygen therapy, and Buddhist shamanic sessions. Every morning would be about a mile walk up the mountain side to Alberto and Marcella’s home, before we started our health treatments, to have a class in nutrition for our brain health (ironically starting with gut health). Alberto taught us how to make our own powerful probiotic and how to ferment it. He always gave me a double dose. The Shaman, not speaking English, didn’t know of what ailed me, but always spent extra time around the abdomen. I received a couple extra IVs for hydration. We had a world-renowned homeopathic doctor there from Germany, who gave me a few tinctures to try. I look back at this time in awe. I was very sick, but didn’t realize it. I walked in the heat up the mountains on little food or drink on a daily basis. I was up all night purging, what 1/2 cup of food I did manage to get down in the day. C diff can be deadly, and cause people to have parts of their colon removed. It can be very serious when not treated. My condition would get better, then return. Finally, Alberto gave me Cipro to try to see if it would help. It did. But so did everything else combined. I am convinced. Otherwise, I never would have made it through.

So, that was the beginning of shedding my skin. Literally and figuratively inside and out. There were amazing energy healers that cleared childhood trauma I have held for years. I felt much lighter after treatments. In spite of being sick, it was a wonderful experience. I met a few good friends along the way.

When I got home, I had an urge to go to the casino. Yes, I do enjoy playing the slots. I won over $10,000. Paid for my trip. ALWAYS listen and ACT on those nudges you get.

In my session with Alberto, he told me I am on my Spiritual quest, and should go with them on the trip to Peru in April. I smiled and nodded, knowing damn well I couldn’t possible do another trip like this. I told this to my new friend, Kallie, who was there. She said never say never, and we shall see. I had no intention of going. Taking another 2 weeks off of work, with no vacation, and the cost, was enough to convince me I wasn’t going. It wasn’t as expensive as the first, but still…I still had my trip to go on in March to Mexico.

One night, in February, Kallie and I were talking, and she said, well, are we going to Peru? Kallie, I can’t. There is no way I can take the time off again. She told me to go take a bath to see if I get a message. So I did, and nope. No message. I got out of the bath and walked into the kitchen and stepped on a refrigerator magnet I got in New Mexico. I don’t know how it got on the floor, but it has the Zia symbol on it. Which closely represents the Andean chacana, a bit by sight, but certainly in the meaning of the symbolism. It was late, Kallie lives in North Carolina where it was really late. I called her anyway and told her the story and said does this count? She booked us for the last couple of spots to go on the Peruvian trip while we were on the phone. So off to Peru. Amazingly, no one was booked for vacation, and my manager let me take the time off.

I won’t go into all the amazing stories from that trip, but there was one that topped them all. It was a most spiritual trip, beyond what I ever could have imagined. We travelled with 5 Q’ero shaman to sacred sites and received 5 different rites. Both in Chile, and Peru, I asked Alberto and Marcela if we had a chance of seeing condor. Both places were a no, as they said they tend to be in the higher altitudes. Our base altitude was around 12,000 ft. That seemed high to me. Well on one day, we were heading to my most favorite site. It was so beautiful, I felt like I was on top of the world at 17,000 feet. We were receiving the Earthkeepers Rite. Near and dear to my heart.

Before I continue, I need to explain something. The eagle has always been an important symbol for me. I risk being thought of as a lunatic here, but I don’t care. I need to be authentic. For years, I have been communicating with my Guides. Years ago, they gave me the name of White Eagle. That is all I am going to say about that, but it will help you to understand how profound the rest of the story is to me.

As we were all waiting in line as the Shaman’s were giving us the rites, someone yelled out Condor! We all looked up, and 2 condor came and circled twice around us before heading off. I was so in awe. They are hard to see, and here they joined us during ceremony. When it came to my time to receive the rite, the Shaman was speaking in Quechaun doing his thing. They hold their medicine bundle and press it on us in a certain sequence while saying their prayers. As he was doing this, he looked up and shouted eagle! And there was an eagle circling above us. He held the medicine bundle up to the eagle speaking in his native language, then thrust it on my heart. Of all the rites, this is the one I really wanted to receive, and this magical thing happened during it. Tears were flowing. Each day just grew in the magic in what happened. To say it was amazing, is an understatement.

So again, a trip of healing, and shedding, and empowerment. The shedding of the past continued throughout the year with my journey group, and a ketamine session. I am not kidding when I say I want to heal. I was committed to this, and still am.

So, as we enter 2026, and into the Year of the Horse, it is a time to leave that past behind and step into empowerment. Freedom from what keeps us bound. We all hold the key to unlock what keeps us captive. What keeps us down. We are our own captor. It took me a few years to fully understand this. I am not sure I understand it all, but I am much further along than I was 5 years ago. It is never too late to do the inner work. It’s important to do. To get through grief, trauma, and what we hold in our bodies, that keeps us from living the fullest, most authentic life we are here to live. I highly encourage everyone to embrace your boldness, courage, and move forward to do this work. It doesn’t have to be on a grand scale, it doesn’t have to be everything, just take the first step. That is bravery. It isn’t easy work, but it is the most important work we can do. As we heal ourselves, we heal the collective. We raise consciousness for everyone.

Peace, Love, and Joy to you.